Sat. Aug. 25
I've been thinking a lot lately on whether to write this or not.
I've been thinking a lot lately on whether to write this or not.
But today I decided to write about it.
Most of you know that I have disability, and I've kept it inside of me for quite a while now and today's its coming out.
Its not on the outside of me, its in the inside (mental wise).
One minute I'm acting like a normal kid and the next minute its take me forever just to figure out one little thing, like how to pick up my sister from work, which really isn't that hard, but its hard for me.
I'm used to I guess. Not many people have seen me go through the different stages that I have, but that maybe a good thing.
With this disability, comes depression.
I've had for too long, but this summer has been the worst for me. I left my job at the end of March this year and since then I haven't found a new job.
Its been really bad. I'm on the computer 24/7 and with nothing else to do, I read all the new things on the messageboards about Clay Aiken.
If you haven't noticed, I'm a Clay Aiken fan. He's helped me a lot (through his music), but sometimes it gets a little boring after a while.
I'm not saying Clay is boring, but every single day I go on the same old messageboards and there isn't any "new" news to report. :(
I need something else to do, but I don't know what.
Since I'm way too depressed, I always listen to "I Will Carry You" by Clay, but today I found another song that I like.
Its called "These Open Arms" recorded by Clay on his last album and originally recorded by Bon Jovi. The song is below at youtube and its a montage made by my friend Aspiegirl (Kathy) and she did a really good job on it. Btw, it will have Clay pics in it, but I just want you to listen to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5_IVnTOoOA
Also no one wants me to have a job. What's wrong with you people??
This morning (Sunday morning) I'm losing it again!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so depressed. I don't know what else to do.
My computer really loves me...........haha......yea right!
It restarted on its own this morning and I was almost done burning a DVD!!!!!!!!!!!
I will not try again today, 'cause its so much trouble. I'm just trying to do something productive here!!!!!!!!!!
ETA: I will not try to burn something for a while, 'cause I'm so fed up with that one thing, I don't need it to make me mad again.
Edited on Aug. 28..................
Also I can't get into one of my email accounts, so I went to another one! Its an old one, but it still works. So if anyone wants it, just holler! :)
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Tuesday Aug. 28
Wow, today I final will post this looonnnngggg post!
Its taken me two days.............
Just pray for me tomorrow and the next day, 'cause I have two interviews the next two days and they both at 10am (EST). So just think about me, will ya? Thanks!
Sarah :)
